The camping teenagers are your average routine and colorless lambs to the slaughter, including the pot-head, the muscled macho, the bimbo who's likely to get topless at some point in the movie, the girl who always complains and the one remotely intelligent & likable chick who will presumably survive the massacre. One moment he's an ultra-creepy maniac who makes eyeless puppets out of his victims, yet the next he's a sneering lunatic who crushes little fluffy dogs with his feet and yells out silly lines like "You forgot to say Simon Says!!". Perhaps that's just because he is Crispin Glover and always has this aura of morbidity surrounding him. Although constantly exaggerating in performing his odd roles, he somehow occasionally manages to look creepy & menacing nonetheless. Crispin Glover unintentionally? finds a perfect balance between creepiness and humor. Of course, there absolutely isn't any tension or plot-development and the only story twist that is worth mentioning can easily be guessed long before it's revealed on screen. Needless to say Simon's macabre games result in a gigantic blood bath, with gory impalement, decapitations and dismemberment. Whilst enjoying random sex and soft-drugs, drooling Simon sneaks up on the teenagers and kills them as well as some other unfortunate bystanders in some of the most ingenious ways you'll ever see! Simon is particularly creative with pickaxes, as he developed several wonderful traps and ambushes all over the woods that mercilessly catapult the rusty weapons in the direction of the victims.
#Simon says 2006 full#
Stanley, terrorizing a van full of empty-headed teenagers on their camping trip in the woods. So, to sum it up, we have cheese, pick-axes, more cheese, a few paintball players passing through just long enough to be slaughtered gleefully serves them right for the dog's name, a bit more cheese, and Crispin Glover who carries the show practically alone, and does a great job of it too. you don't stick so closely to the rules of a genre unless you want to mess with them. That's the bit that clinches the deal for me: the friend I watched this with says it's a failed horror movie, but with that kind of performance in it, it just has to be a parody especially since the rest of the characters includes Generic Jock, Generic Slut, Generic Stuck-up-kid-who-dies-first and Generic Stoner. was that an eyeball stuck to the back of the newspaper ?I can't resist adding a bit about Glover's southern ? accent: that was awful, painful, terrible. And afterwards, when Simon in little-boy-lost mode appears cradling the "sleeping" dog. Usually, cruelty to animals in movies makes me queasy, but that stomp was just too over-the-top to be taken seriously. in the same vein, the dog scene was hilarious. Bless Simon/Stanley's little jealous heart that he does exactly that.
Also: "if you gonna die, might as well die high." When the resident stoner bleats that scintillating piece of wisdom, one may want to murder him.
and falling flat on his face after tripping over a forgotten pick-axe.
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